Some meetings are small and do not have a regular children's meeting, but can still offer something extraordinary. Below Sarah Shaw reflects on her experience of intergenerational community.
If you'd like to find out more about Quaker parenting, you could join the Quaker Parenting Network Facebook group. It's open to anyone in Britain with children under 18 and an interest in Quakerism.
Reflections on belonging to an all-age community
Sarah writes:
Over the years we've moved around a lot and have belonged to a number of Quaker meetings. Some have had children's meetings; most haven't. In truth, we haven't really minded either way. What's mattered is that we've felt included.
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What's mattered is that we've felt included.
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Friendship across generations
My children spend so much of their week hanging out with other kids their own age that – for us at least – being with other children on a Sunday morning doesn't feel particularly important. What's less hard to come by is opportunities to create meaningful relationships with people of different generations. For me, one of the highlights of belonging to our local meeting is seeing my son enjoy friendships with people six or seven decades older than himself.
Recently one such Friend, with whom he's bonded over a shared love of nature, took him to a Wild Play session organised by our local Wildlife Trust. Watching him stand by our front door waiting for her to arrive, excitedly hopping from one foot to another, was a delight to see. When the two of them came home they were full of their adventures. Where other than at Quakers could he form such a friendship?
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The best parenting advice I've received... comes from older Friends sharing stories of their own experiences.
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Belonging to a multi-generational worshipping community has been invaluable for me, too. The best parenting advice I've received, for example, hasn't come from books, or podcasts, or so-called experts: it's come from older Friends sharing stories of their own experiences. And thinking further back to when I was younger, before I had kids – in my messy late teens when I so often felt lost and lonely – it was the fellowship of older Friends that saw me through.
A sense of belonging
We first took our son to meeting for worship when he was three weeks old. We'd been living in the United States for a little over a year, and the warm welcome we'd received from Friends there – the way they'd wholeheartedly embraced us into their worshipping family – meant that by the time he was born he already had many honorary aunties and uncles.
I remember a Friend standing up after meeting for worship, and welcoming him into the meeting. Everyone in the room turned and did that wiggly-finger thing that Friends do sometimes to mark a joyful occasion. Afterwards my husband, who was raised an Anglican, said simply: 'For me, that moment was his baptism'. And it was. A few loving words, a loving gesture. It was so simple. And yet it did so much to show that we belonged.
Sarah Shaw is a support worker for Quaker communities in the East Midlands. She has a background in education and environmental campaigning. She has two children, aged 7 and 4.